Cat in the Hat
by Stardust413
Summary: Disappearances in the slums of London have caught the Queen's attention as of late. With the help of his loyal butler, Ciel Phantomhive gets to work, seeking out crime and corruption in unlikely places. As per usual. Oneshot.


A/N: I've been wanting to publish this for while, but it never seemed quite right. Now, I'm not calling this perfection, but I'm pretty happy with it. It _is_ only about 3,000 words, so tell me if it seems a bit rushed or whatever. I'm not good at thinking up irrelevant things to use as filler.

This is a oneshot, but if anyone wants to make up their own ending, I'd love to read it!

* * *

• • •

"Young Master, you have received a letter from the Queen this morning."

Sebastian Michaelis, butler to the Earl Phantomhive, placed his master's morning mail on the solid wood desk before him. The Earl let out a sigh, an incredibly aged one at that, considering how early it was in the morning.

"I see," he said. He picked up the thick white envelope and reached for the jewel-encrusted letter opener. The sharp blade broke the wax seal, and delicate white fingers pulled the creamy card stock from its sheath. Sapphire eyes scanned the elegant scrawl, and the Earl leaned backward in his high-backed chair.

Eleven people had gone missing in the slums of London in the past three weeks. It wasn't all that uncommon, peasants disappearing in that part of town, but so many in such a short time was cause for suspicion.

"Ready the carriage, Sebastian," Ciel ordered. "It appears there have been several disappearances in the slums. They would have gone unnoticed had a noble not recently gone missing in the same area while passing through."

Sebastian bowed in supplication. "How long shall I pack for, Master?"

"A few days, I suppose," his young lord replied. "It is several hours ride to the city, after all. We will stay at an inn."

"Of course, my lord. All will be prepared within the hour."

• • •

_Well, _Ciel thought, _at least the pillows aren't made of straw. _

The inn Sebastian had selected was quite unsavory, and definitely not known for cleanliness. Ciel suspected his butler had chosen this place for the sole purpose of getting under his skin. Of course, this particular area did not have such high end inns as nobles like himself were used to, and for the sake of time, they could not afford to stay at one in the richer part of the city.

The young Earl sat on the lumpy mattress unhappily, his thoughts drifting toward where they should begin the investigation. He ran through the facts of the disappearances through his head and supposed the baker on the corner was the best place to start. From that spot, one could see the goings on of the center of the slums, and he knew for a fact that the baker liked to sell other rather illegal goods to certain customers on the side.

Decision made, he waited for Sebastian to bring up the bags, after which the pair headed down the road to the baker. He initially attempted to avoid the topic, but with the proper motivation he admitted to seeing a couple wagons of gypsies hanging around this corner for some time now.

"Anything else?" Ciel asked. The baker trembled as Sebastian's grip tightened around his arm.

"W-well," the man stammered. "I mighta seen them pick up some street rats, but no one special or nothin'."

Ciel redirected his no-nonsense glare to the window to gaze at the wagons that had just pulled up to the corner. "Thank you for your time," he said to the owner of the shop. "Come along, Sebastian."

With that, he and his butler headed outside to question the travelers.

Ciel quickly realized that they did not like to be questioned, and were not willing to be manipulated.

He walked directly up to the group and singled out a young woman who looked willing to cooperate. Or at least it seemed that way at first.

"May I help you with something, sir?" she asked, feigning politeness. She had a slight accent, which sounded like French, or something close to it.

"I'm investigating some disappearances in the area," he said. "and I wondered if-"

"You wondered if the gypsies kidnapped the nice people?" she asked, disdain clear in her tone. She'd dropped the polite guise like a used rag. "I'm afraid I can't help you, _sir_. You should go back to where you belong." With a sashay of her hips, she turned around to head back to her wagon.

Sebastian caught her arm before she could escape. The woman's breath caught in her throat and she froze in her tracks. His voice bordered on menacing as he spoke. "Perhaps you should rethink-" A solid wooden stick tapped him on the wrist, none to gently. He turned, caught in a rare moment of surprise as he looked at the other woman who'd approached the threesome.

She appeared to be at least four times the first woman's age, with long white hair that trailed behind her. She also walked without shoes, though it didn't seem to bother her at all. When she'd gotten the attention of both the Earl and the demon, she began speaking in another language in a loud, commanding tone. At this time, the younger woman quietly slipped away, thankful for the distraction and satisfied knowing the pair would get what they deserved.

The old gypsy woman continued to chant, much to Sebastian's dismay. Ciel appeared bored with this line of events, until the crazy bat reached into her sleeve and proceeded to flick some unknown liquid at him. Sebastian felt his lips try to twitch into a smirk upon seeing the expression on the young Earl's face. It was quite hilarious in his opinion.

After a short time the woman apparently finished placing her curse and backed away toward the wagon.

Sebastian knelt down to wipe the mysterious liquid from his Master's face.

Ciel frowned. "What was that about, Sebastian?" he asked grumpily.

"Ah, yes," Sebastian replied. "I suppose I should have mentioned before: most gypsies are not fond of being questioned."

"Yes," Ciel grumbled. "That definitely would have been more helpful before I wasted my time."

The butler smirked mischievously.

They continued with their interrogations, gradually working their way down the block. After many similar results, the Earl decided to retire for the night.

• • •

They visited the families the next day. The first was the mother and father of a young girl named Emilia. She'd been reported missing one week before, when she went out for a slab of meat and never returned.

"You know of a group of gypsies that recently arrived, yes?" Ciel asked. The parents nodded. "When did you notice their presence?"

The couple looked at each other, communicating silently. "The first we saw of them must have been about two weeks ago. Have they got something to do with our daughter's disappearance?"

"That is unclear as of yet. Thank you for your cooperation."

This general scenario carried on until they'd visited all the families except that of the missing noble. It was the oddest thing. The victims seemed to have nothing in common, aside from their lower-class status. But then, add in the noble, and they had nothing in common at all.

"It's time to speak with the last family, Sebastian," Ciel announced. "We shall be checking out of the inn tonight."

"Very well," Sebastian agreed.

They went back to the inn to collect the luggage, and then headed out to the estate of Earl Carrington, the noble who'd disappeared while in the slums.

"Do you happen to know why he was in the slums that day?" he asked the Earl's wife. He kept his eye on her but took note of the lack of servants in the manor, and the worn state of the draperies.

"No," she said. "He was not even scheduled to travel through there in the first place."

"I see," Ciel murmured as he sipped at a cup of tea. "Is there anything you can tell me of your husband's activities that may be of use?"

"Well..." She hesitated. Ciel nodded for her to continue. "I noticed him using opiates as of late. Now that I think about it, he might've had a problem. You know, some people develop a sort of addiction to it."

Ciel's mind flashed to the baker. It was a known fact that he dealt in drugs and the sort. But why would an Earl get drugs from the slums? There were other ways... He filed away the information for later.

"Thank you for your hospitality, Lady Carrington. I'm certain this will all be sorted out shortly."

Once back in the carriage, Ciel turned to Sebastian. "Do you think the baker was lying, then?"

Sebastian considered. "Not necessarily. We did not specifically ask about the Earl, after all."

Ciel's eyes narrowed. "In any case, we'll have to speak with him again."

The butler nodded. "To the slums, then?"

"Yes. To the slums."

"Why would he buy his drugs from there, Sebastian? There are higher end establishments."

The butler looked at him slyly, smirk settled on his face. "Perhaps he was not buying them there at all."

• • •

The baker glanced up in surprise, pausing in kneading a blob of dough. "Earl Phantomhive, I wasn't expecting to see you again so soon!"

Ciel's eyes narrowed. The idiot baker did not seem at all concerned for his safety, despite what Sebastian had done to him last time. He decided to get straight to the point.

"I know about your business with Earl Carrington."

The baker froze in his movements, hand resting lightly upon the counter. His head lowered, chin tucking into his chest. His shoulders shook, and for a moment Ciel though the fool was crying, but then-

"Ah-ha-ha-_ha_! And if that idiot hadn't gone and-and gotten himself killed, I woulda been filthy rich by now!" His laughter overtook him again for a few moments before he regained his composure. He turned to Ciel. "How'd a kid like you figure it out anyway? Even the police had no idea."

Ciel thought back to the last time they'd seen the baker, and the investigation that had ensued.

"For one, the last time I was here, you neglected to mention that you'd seen a person of nobility pass through, even when I asked specifically if you'd noticed anything unusual. And you tried to place blame on the gypsies, but they didn't show up until after the third disappearance.

"I visited the families of the slum victims, and came to the conclusion that they had nothing in common with the Earl. So I thought. Perhaps the disappearances between the locals and the nobleman were not strictly related after all?

"Then, after visiting the late Earl's estate, I realized he had been on the verge of losing his family fortune, due to his opium addiction. He couldn't risk anyone of equal status discovering this, so he began visiting the slums, where he could invest in the black market.

"There was perhaps one item that sold for enough that he could stop worrying about going broke. Humans. I remembered that you deal with many illegal activities in this establishment of yours, including, but not limited to, human trafficking. He came here to help you sell, and received a portion of the profit. Am I correct in my assumption?"

The baker nodded, seemingly impressed. "So, what now? I guess you're going to turn me in, huh?"

Ciel considered his options. Then, made a decision. "No."

"No?" the baker asked, confused.

"No," Ciel confirmed. "It's getting late, and I want to get home. Take care of this, Sebastian."

The butler bowed. "Yes, of course, Young Master."

He made short work of it, and before long, was escorting Earl Phantomhive out to the carriage.

"There is one thing I'm unclear about though," Ciel said. "If the baker and Earl Carrington were indeed in business together, then what happened to him?"

Sebastian thought, gazing out the window. "Perhaps the devious Earl delved too deeply into a world that was not his own."

"Hmph." Ciel looked out the window also. The gaggle of gypsies was mingling amongst the crowd, blending seamlessly with the other scraggly bodies in the square. All but one. The old woman they'd encountered before stood on the side of the road, and seemed to glare directly at Ciel.

An odd shiver rolled down his spine, as the oddest sensation swept over him.

• • •

Sebastian Michaelis, butler of Earl Phantomhive, really should have known better than to dismiss the curse of a gypsy. He should have taken action immediately to prevent the progression of the curse. He wasn't sure how much worse his master's condition would get, or if it was even reversible.

But his young master was just so incredibly _cute_, as Lady Midford would doubtless say. His soft grey ears twitched at the slightest sound, bottlebrush tail swaying in annoyance. His pupils had taken on a slitted shape, that of a cat's, but remained their original unique color. As far as Sebastian was concerned, the young Earl could stay that way for the rest of his existence. Never mind a minor allergy to felines.

It was perfectly normal that Ciel insisted on salmon for dinner. It was also quite socially acceptable that he thirsted for an extra glass of milk at dinner instead of any dessert.

The first cause for concern, however, came up after dinnertime, whilst Sebastian was attempting to get his master ready for bed. He had already ordered a tub to be filled when the lord of the house stopped him.

"I do not need a bath tonight," he announced.

Sebastian frowned slightly. "But sir, it has been several days since the last one; this is the scheduled day. Plus, we _did_ just get back from a rather filthy part of the city-"

Ciel cut him off. "I definitely do not need to bathe tonight, Sebastian. Not in a tub of water." His blue cat eyes narrowed in defiance.

The butler's eyes widened in realization. Of course! How had it not crossed his mind earlier? Most cats, fickle beings as they were, detested being drenched in water.

He bowed deeply. "Of course, Master. I only wish to give you the best care possible." He meant it, of course, even if the boy didn't quite understand his meaning. After all, despite Ciel's protests, Sebastian knew for a fact that his master should be bathed before bed; it wouldn't do for an Earl to go around smelling like three-day-old curry.

So, resigned to whatever punishment may await him, Sebastian led his butler down the hall, but instead of opening the door to his master's room, opened the one leading to the bathing room.

Ciel's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "I thought I told you I did not need to bathe tonight, didn't I, Sebastian?" His tail gave an irritated flick.

The demon butler bowed deeply. "But Master, I must insist."

"No," the young lord hissed adamantly.

Sebastian smirked lightheartedly. It wasn't as if he could possibly become too annoyed with his master, now was it? Not with those adorable ears and fluffy tail twitching about. "Yes."

Without further ado, the young lord's clothes were stripped from his body and he was thrown unceremoniously into the tub of warm water.

This was also the moment Ciel's form changed even more to allow retractable claws. They raked deep gashes up and down Sebastian's arms as he kept his master in place and scrubbed him clean. The butler did not even wince as he proceeded to scrub every speck of dirt and grime from his lord's porcelain skin.

Ciel's unforgiving attitude toward his butler after that incident could put any other cat to shame. True to form, he did not enjoy being forced into the water, and punished Sebastian with severe silent treatment and hostile gazes as he was patted dry with a towel.

After leading his master to his bedroom the butler proceeded to slip the young Earl's nightshirt up his arms and button it down the front.

Sebastian carefully folded his master's clothes and placed them on the chair to be taken away for cleaning. He then brushed a speck of dust from the young boy's hat and hung it on the rack beside the door.

After Ciel had been tucked him into bed that night, he stopped his butler before he could leave.

"Sebastian," he said. "I seem to have come down with a headache in all the commotion. Stay and massage my temples until I fall asleep."

Sebastian smirked and sat at his master's bedside. "Of course, my lord," he conceded.

He set to massaging the sides of a silky grey head, but before long, his Master shifted his head so that the long fingers rubbed directly between two velvet ears. He suspected deceit on his masters part, but it was acceptable since he was a cat, and a cat would do whatever was necessary to get what they want, even if it was just a pet on the head.

As he was drifting off to sleep, the boy muttered, "Have a carriage prepared tomorrow morning. We are going back to that old gypsy woman. She will be returning me to normal tomorrow. Understood?"

"Yes, Master. Understood."

Sebastian smirked and silently teased his slumbering lord for saying such a silly thing. Nothing in this world could ever turn him back to "normal", or anything of the like. Ciel Phantomhive was fated to lead a particularly _abnormal_ life. No matter if he was in the form of cat or human.

• • •

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A/N: If you're still reading, thank you! Hope you liked it!

On a side note, if you know of anyone who's writing and needs someone to edit, I'm a great editor. Much easier than trying to organize my own thoughts. PM me, or contact me on tumblr at lazekase.

Happy summer!


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